Last week, I was floating on a giant inflatable flamingo while enjoying a cute summer Friday with my girlfriends when I received a text from my boss at Daily Burn, reading: “Do you have a few minutes to chat?”
My first and immediate thought was “I’m fired.”
Now, I have no ACTUAL reason to believe I should be fired, but my mind sold out on me, faster than a new block of HAMILTON tickets. I had to ask myself, “WTF is that all about?” Enter ye olde arch nemesis pain in the a**, Insecurity.
I won’t go into where insecurity stems from, as it’s different for all of us and keeps many a therapist in business. What matters is that we all experience it and it can be crippling, especially in high stakes situations like auditions or job interviews, where we would otherwise do quite well. As performers, we battle insecurity daily as it surrounds our body issues, comparison games, audition mojo… pick your poison. It’s an epidemic, infiltrating our brains, dropping ideas into our heads that aren’t actually real. Insecurity spins stories, keeps us up at night, and makes us feel inferior. And that, my friends, is not cool. So let’s zap it with a little reframing exercise.
Here’s how to get out of your head and beat insecurity so you can kick ass in life and not be a slave to your demons:
- Collect the crazy thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself in a negative thought, don’t just notice it- write it down or type it into the “notes” app in your phone. Keep a record of your insecure musings throughout the day (you might want to password protect that). Example thought: “OMG there is no way I can go to that CHICAGO audition- I am TOO OLD AND FAT.”
- Rewrite the story by extracting the facts and putting a positive, yet (this is important) TRUTHFUL spin on it. Write it down under the crazy thought. Example reframe: How awesome is it that my agent thinks I’m fierce enough to be seen for Velma on Broadway! I’m so grateful to have an agent who believes in my talent. See what I did there? I took focus away from the insecure thoughts (which are based on nothing real) and put power into the FACTS that are true. I also added a dollop of gratitude for good measure, because it just makes me feel good. Remember that: Gratitude=Good feelings.
- Repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Insecurity is a strong little sucker, and will hang on. Your issues will flare up again and again- it will take lots of reframing to get out of the trap. But keep doing this exercise and before you know it you will have formed a completely new way of thinking.
What is YOUR biggest insecurity? Notice it, address it, and counteract it. You can do this!
Note: I’d like to thank my coach Jo for teaching ME how to do this, so I can share it with you. And my agent Jim for sending me the CHICAGO breakdown so I could have an example story for you. 😉 And my boss Lisa at Daily Burn for not firing me, but actually delivering good news.